Newsgroups: talk.bizarre From: firstname.lastname@example.org (John Perry) Subject: The Thing About Cats Keywords: lions, tigers, bears, oh my Date: Wed, 08 Jun 94 17:32:33 GMT Kevin wasn't afraid of tigers. That isn't to say that if he ever met a tiger he wouldn't experience fear, but on this particular trip to Asia, Kevin wasn't afraid of tigers. It wasn't that Kevin was a particularly muscular man. In fact, he was rather lean, some would even call him scrawny. His complexion was pale; not the albino kind of pale, where the skin can't get much color, nor the greenish pale that one looks between the time when he throws up and when he starts to feel better. Rather Kevin's complexion was the sort of pale one gets from being bathed in the glow of a monitor rather than the glow of the sun for too long. Most people would look at him and think "computer nerd... definitely afraid of tigers". They would be wrong, at least on one count. Kevin had never met a tiger in the wild, though he had seen them in the zoo when he was a boy. That trip had ended when the Orangutan had urinated quite openly and Kevin had commented that the simian's organ was even larger than his fathers. His father wouldn't have minded so much, except for the fact that they were visiting the zoo with Kevin's sister Carrie's Girl Scout troup. Carrie would have accompanied Kevin on this safari, except for the fact that the travel agent had assured them that they would see tigers on this trip, and Carrie was afraid of tigers. But Kevin wasn't. The reason Kevin didn't fear the tigers' vicious claws and gaping maws was because he had a secret weapon. It wasn't a gun. Kevin had never felt particularly comfortable with guns since the time he shot Carrie with his Daisy air rifle as a kid. The paddling his father gave him then probably hurt worse than the bee-bee that hit Carrie on the other side of the yard, and Kevin still flinched whenever he picked up a firearm. No, it wasn't a gun that gave Kevin his confidence. Nor was it a knife or flamethrower or an amazing ability to talk to the animals. Kevin knew he had the one thing that tigers feared more than any of those conventional weapons. Kevin had the magic socks.
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