So You've Read Oedipus the King...

Subject:      So you've read Oedipus the King...
From:         jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (John Perry)
Organization: UCLA, Computer Science Department
Date:         Tue, 20 Sep 94 22:32:51 GMT


Now read:

                Lesser Known Sequels of the Classics
                ------------------------------------

        Metamorphosis II

                Gregor Samsa goes through another mystical transformation,
            this time from a giant cockroach into a lounge singer.  The
            few people who still felt any compassion for him are now
            totally repulsed, and he moves away to Vegas.


        Taming of the Shrew II: Who's the Shrew?

                The antics begin when Petruchio and Katherine's daughter
            Bianca (named after her aunt) comes of age and turns out to
            be quite a shrew herself.  Katherine at first tries to convince
            her daughter that good manners are the right way, then turns
            back to shrewishness herself to show her daughter how
            unattractive it can be.  This all builds to the hilarious
            climactic scene, where Petruchio beats them both into
            submission with an ax handle.


        Huck Finn II

                Huck has grown up and propspered as a certified public
            accountant.  He decides he likes civilzation after all, though
            he never does take to wearing shoes, thus his nickname, the
            "barefoot bookkeeper".  Jim leaves the Indians and gets his
            law degree, and eventually defends the King and Duke who are
            up on a racketeering charge.


        Lysistrata II

                Once again, Lysistrata convinces the women of Athens to
            boycott sex, this time to convince the men not to lay around
            and watch wrestling on Sundays.  Cinesias tries to convince
            Myrrhine to lie with him while watching wrestling, but she
            teases him and then refuses.  Some of the men try goats, but
            decide they don't like them.  Eventually the men give in.

        Lysistrata III : Backside to the Future

                Since it was so successful the first two times, the
            women of Athens again decide to boycott sex.  This time they
            want the men to stay at home and let them go off to war.
            Unfortunately, some of the men discover that they like
            each other more than their wives.  The boycott is quickly
            abandoned, but it is too late.  The rumor has already spread
            that Athenian men like anal sex.  The rest is history.


        The Farther Adventures of Robinson Crusoe

                Robinson Crusoe uses the money he inherited from the
            Brazilian plantation to start up a small cruise company. One
            day while taking out five passengers on a three hour tour to
            the Isle of Wight, a storm breaks out.  He and his first mate
            Friday (a mighty sailing man) do their best, but lose control
            of the boat.  Eventually, it crashes on a deserted island.
            The rest of the book describes the antics that occur when
            they almost get rescued several times, but Friday screws it
            up each time.


        Undeath of a Salesman

                Willy Loman comes back from the dead as a vampire.  His
            hypnotic control over his customers reestablishes his life
            as a salesman.  He convinces Biff (no relation to B1FF) to
            go into professional football, where he becomes a big star
            but loses respect for his father when he does an advertizement
            for nylons.


        The Divine Tragedy

                In this controversial sequel, Dante travels through New
            York City, Billings (Montana), and Salt Lake City.  The
            controversy is over the origin.  Joseph Smith claimed that
            Dante dictated this book to him in dreams, which literary
            critics have shown a lot of skepticism about.


        The Bible II

                Of the Dead Sea Scrolls, these were the only ones that
            were deliberately lost.  They recount the tale of how Jesus
            descended back out of Heaven and became a lounge singer.
            Even his staunchest followers deserted him for this, and
            when Peter finally left he moved to Vegas and got a regular
            gig at the Tropicana changing water into wine.


                                        John

This post is copyright 1994 John Perry. Any rebroadcast or republication is prohibited without my expressed written consent. Write to me with your comments or usage requests

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