Newsgroups: talk.bizarre From: email@example.com (John Perry) Subject: Cable Channels That (sadly) Survived Date: Thu, 1 Sep 94 00:28:34 GMT CABLE CHANNELS THAT SURVIVED ---------------------------- The World Wrestling Federation Network - Marketing studies showed that beer sales increased 14% the first week this network was on the air, including a 42% increase in sales between 2 AM and 6 AM. They are assured of sponsorship for life. The Barney Broadcasting Company - I love you, you love me, never turn off your TV. Despite protestations by parents whose children are still addicted to the show and retain an infantile intelligence well into their thirties, this network is quite successful. In fact, in Minneappolis it has replaced Catholicism as the second largest religion. Watch Famous People Eat Channel - People love food. People love famous people. What could they like better than watching famous people eat? Particularly popular is the "Dinner with a Slob" show, Fridays at 6. The Accident Station - It never reduced the rubbernecking problem, as it promised in it's charter, but still has millions of faithful viewers. Some controversy came up when they started providing statistics to sports pages of local newspapers, as ESPN wanted to get a cut, but they won the court battle holding up the claim that they were providing a public service. The CARASSO Network - It's the station your daughter watches.
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