Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (John Perry)
Subject: Cable Channels That (sadly) Survived
Date: Thu, 1 Sep 94 00:28:34 GMT


               CABLE CHANNELS THAT SURVIVED
	       ----------------------------

  The World Wrestling Federation Network - Marketing studies showed
	  that beer sales increased 14% the first week this network 
	  was on the air, including a 42% increase in sales between
	  2 AM and 6 AM.  They are assured of sponsorship for life.

  The Barney Broadcasting Company - I love you, you love me, never
	  turn off your TV.  Despite protestations by parents whose
	  children are still addicted to the show and retain an
	  infantile intelligence well into their thirties, this
	  network is quite successful.  In fact, in Minneappolis
	  it has replaced Catholicism as the second largest religion.

  Watch Famous People Eat Channel - People love food.  People love
	  famous people.  What could they like better than watching
	  famous people eat?  Particularly popular is the "Dinner
	  with a Slob" show, Fridays at 6.

  The Accident Station - It never reduced the rubbernecking problem,
	  as it promised in it's charter, but still has millions of
	  faithful viewers.  Some controversy came up when they started
	  providing statistics to sports pages of local newspapers, as
	  ESPN wanted to get a cut, but they won the court battle 
	  holding up the claim that they were providing a public service.

  The CARASSO Network - It's the station your daughter watches.