Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
From: jperry@oahu.cs.ucla.edu (John Perry)
Subject: Cable Channels that Didn't Make It
Date: Thu, 1 Sep 94 00:08:40 GMT


                CABLE CHANNELS THAT NEVER MADE IT
		---------------------------------

  The Polka Network - This network would have featured 24 hours of Polka
	  music 7 days a week, but got dropped when their sponsor (an
	  accordian) manufacturer backed out at the last minute.

  The Reading Channel - Fine literature provided on the screen for your
	  reading pleasure was the premise of this network.  It initially
	  came into trouble when during the first week of programming
	  they were flooded with calls telling them they were turning
	  the page too fast or too slow (about half of each).  Finally
	  shut down when they realized that their major market would rather
	  read a real book than watch TV.

  The Shoe Station - A spinoff of the Home Shopping Network, this station
	  sold nothing but shoes.  The station eventually closed due to
	  mismanagement of funds and personal consumption of stock by
	  the station's manager, Imelda Marcos.

  The Personal Invasion Network - This station had a great idea: place 
	  hidden surveillance cameras in the home of a different household
	  each day and show the activities of the residents therein without
	  telling them.  For the few days it was on the air, it was wildly
	  popular, gaining a larger market share than andy previous program
	  including the Super Bowl and the OJ Simpson Trial.  Unfortunately,
	  they made the mistake of placing their cameras in the home of 
	  someone wealthy enough to hire an attorney and they were off
	  the air the next day.

  NAMBLA Network - The FCC wouldn't hear of it.

  KKK Vision - ditto.

  The X Industries Network - Some people feel that the reason this station
	  went off the air was due to intervention by E(&*&^%^$( F J 

	  It was decided that the viewers were not ready for this station,
	  so it was taken off the air.  Don't even bother turning to their
	  channel  (#78294-33), because you won't see anything there.  Thank
	  you for your support.